Big Girl Syndrome

Hello from your Happy (Single) Chubby Bunny,

VALENTINE IS COMING!
WHERE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?
YOU ARE SITTING ALONE...LONELY!

I am not dissing anyone but if you know the Instagram sensation, Mr Cocoyam then you'd know this song quite intimately.

Valentine is here, 'tis the season of LOVE!!!

And I am here to discuss an issue that I have dealt with and sometimes still dealing with, the Big Girl Syndrome aka BGS. What is BGS you might be asking? Well (and this is a personal definition) it is when you feel like your weight is what is hindering the guys from stepping up to you and when guys do step to you have the automatic response of thinking that he has a fetish.

All my life, I don't think I have been anything but plus-sized, at least for my age. By the time I was 12, I couldn't shop in the children's section anymore and would shop with my mum from the women's section of stores. As a Nigerian, I am not unaccustomed to my people not minding their business, they feel the need to comment on every aspect of your life from your body to fashion, education and so on. I once had a family friend reply to my greeting with a comment about my weight:

Me: Good evening Ma
Them: Ah my dear you have added weight oh you need to stop eating too much

There was no reply to the greeting, no conversation on how I am doing but an immediate assessment of my weight was in order apparently.

There are a lot of insecurities created for both women and men about what their body should look like, the worst part of the situation is that society never makes up its mind about what it wants (not that it matters); but being skinny is not ok and fat is not ok either. I am advocating that if a person is healthy and happy then society should mind its business.

I have digressed a bit. With BGS you get sad that if you don't lose weight then no man is going to approach you and it doesn't help when the unwanted opinion of the world says the same thing. This instils insecurities in people and pushes them to destroy their body in order to conform. My losing weight or wanting to is based on my need to be healthy (and my doctor's advice) and if a guy told me my weight was the reason why he couldn't like me then he better step through the door because I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.

On the other hand, when you are a sufferer of BGS, you constantly suspect guys who step up to you. Some people have big girl fetishes but personally, the idea of being someone's fetish rubs me the wrong way and makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather have a guy like me for me and not based on the sole fact that I am a Big Girl. My weight fluctuates so would your fondness of me fluctuate with the weight?

Anyhoo that is all I have to say about BGS. I have better self-love now and I know that if someone has a problem with my weight then it's their problem. Whether I am a size 6 or 18, I have a lot more to offer beyond my physicality and if you're not willing to get to know those things then you better move out of my life.

I hope you lovely people have a wonderful Valentine, remember there is more to love than sex and you shouldn't limit your expression of love to one day in the year. Make sure those wonderful people in your life know that you love them every day.

My love to you all.

Aunty Bunny xxx.

First Post of 2017!!!

Hello from your very sorry Chubby Bunny,

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND NEW AGE GUYS!!!

I know you have almost given up on me but please forgive me. I got bombarded with school work and my brain has been quite one-tracked with that but I don't stop thinking of you (I hope that counts for something with you guys).

So we all know aside from being a commentator on current events, this blog is a little diary of sorts so let me update you guys.

1. We made it into 2017, all glory to God for keeping us.

2. I am a year plus (just celebrated my birthday) and it is a signifier of new beginings for me in more ways that one.

3. I launched a new platform on instagram @Rocks_of_Jordan please check it out. It is focused on promoting body positivity through God's eyes, allowing us to love ourselves and others beyond physicality. This was the announcement I was talking about from my last post. Place check it out it is a wonderful mandate from God and there are big blessings associated with the platform.

I have been praying to God (like I told you last time) about this blog. I want the things I put on here to be meaningful, helpful and enlightening. I want to remove the superficiality that conventional blogs have. My blog has to show the God/ Christ element shining through my life and posts.

This particular post came to me while I was making indomie 😂 and watching Sleepy Hallow (judge me at your discretion). So anywho, one of the characters was trying to deter someone from loving her, she was doing the conventional thing of pointing all her flaws and shortcomings (like we don't all have ours) and trying to really convince this guy, typical Hollywood (we all know they'll get together eventually)🙄. Now I find it very funny when you're watching the movie and the person is really trying (with so much effort) to convince the other about how unlovable they are. 

Once upon a time that was me. I could probably sit down and tell you how broken I was and how scarred I was too but God said I have loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). Even before we loved ourselves he loved us. When we were in the world he still loved us. To say loved means that there is a past element and to also call his love everlating means that it is also a continuous love that will have no end and no condition.

One amazing thing about finding your identity in Christ is that you begin to realise how valued and treasured you are. He found you worthy enough to die for so there is no argument about your worth anymore.  Romans 6:6 "And we know that our old being has been put to death with Christ on his cross, in order that the power of the sinful self might be destroyed, so that we should no longer be the slaves of sin." Because of this love and the sacrifice of Christ, we are really set apart and no longer operating as our old selves for we are made new.  2 Corinthians 5:17 "Anyone who is joined to Christ is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come."

So now when people claim to love me there is a standard tthat has been set oh. And I'm not looking for counterfeit or false love but the kind of love that is informed by Chris's love. 

Please do share and comment guys. This might bless someone out there.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx

Whining!

Hello from your tired Chubby Bunny,

It's currently 12:30 am and I am exhausted, why aren't you asleep you might be asking, well because my tutors didn't get the memo that it's time for holidays. "Have a good holiday!" they said, "It's Christmas time they said" but the workload still has me waking up early and going to bed late like it's term time 🙄.

I'M SO TIRED!!!

If you haven't deduced this already, this is not even a rant it is a whiny blog post.

I've had a funny week, I was in this depressive state that has no beginning, end or reason. My current mood is just to eat and sleep. I don't have the energy or the zeal. This is me being honest and open, and I need help. What do you do to get out of this type of funk? (practical advice please!).

Ok, I'm done and its time to be serious and put together again. I have an announcement to make on the 21st of December and I would appreciate all the prayers and support I can get. Seeing as the devil is trying to deter me with thoughts of doubt and this project is divinely assigned. SO stay tuned and pray for me (tbh I am in need of prayers right now).

Christmas time is here! I hope you're all spending it with loved ones and also spreading love in the little way you can. While we celebrate let's not forget the reason for the season!

Don't judge me for this post, we all deserve a little whining once in a while. As long as we don't let the problem consume us and we seek solutions rather than wallow in self-pity.


MERRY CHRISTMAS IN ADVANCE (just in case I do not update before the day).


Love Aunty Bunny xxx

This is a segment of Benny's Diaries.

End of term Blues.

Hello from your Happy Chubby Bunny,

I pray asking God to motivate my blog posts so I am not writing rubbish and this blog post came to me while I was trying to figure out my Instagram caption😂. I think it's quite necessary for the end of term/ semester season.

When I was doing my A-levels, I used to be so scared of the last week of the Christmas term because that's when the most fights used to break out. I was scared of it because I hate getting into fights especially with friends or people I live with. We had a name for this week (which I don't think I should mention)😂. 

These fights happened because people were mega stressed, they just wanted the term to end and they had no patience for little things they once ignored. So at the slightest provocation fights broke out. My advice to people at this time was/ is "Avoid each other". Instead of using the little free time you had to be social, use it to rest. Explain to your friends that you're tried, take time for yourself to recharge and breathe. 

This is something I have to do every week if I want to keep my sanity as an introvert. One day out of the week I'd hardly come out of my room, most times I'd be doing work but I didn't over exert myself on the social angle. I had time to ask Bunny how she was and prepare myself for the new week ahead (and even when I'm rich and famous by God's grace, I AM NOT compromising that day).

Whether you're introverted or extroverted. I see us all on a spectrum so we all have a little characteristic of the other i.e. no one is perfectly introverted or extroverted, at least not in all situations. Even if you think you are, you still need time to rest. SO in that last week when you've worn yourself thin, it is ok to preclude yourself from being too social.

On a lighter note, I hope we're all ready for a wonderful Christmas. Let's not forget that this is a season of love, in whatever little way you can show love to someone this season. It was the ultimate sacrifice of love that brought about this season through Christ. 

That's it from me. Sorry, it took so long to update but I've been stressed from work and too busy.

Love, Anty Bunny xxx.

This is a segment of Benny's Diaries.

The CIGYFNF

Hello from your Happy Chubby Bunny,

Please share or comment or just raise your hands in your house if you've ever been the "can I get your friend's number" friend (CIGYFNF) whose number is never wanted (please laugh with me I can't do it alone because this is me to a T).

Let me tell you a story, in fact, two stories. The first happened over the summer, I was at an event in my honour and some friends were around (you know how you have two groups of friend who don't know each other) some were guys and the other were girls. Throughout the event, I didn't know the guys had been checking out my girlfriends so when they were able to corner just me, they started asking me for my friends' names, numbers and relationship status. They were four guys and they had each already chosen a girl for themselves. And I was just like "wow!!!" so you come to my event where I am supposed to be the centre of attention and you're checking out my friends (I was even clapping for them). But as the good Christian friend that I am, I introduced them to my friends and allowed the to 'set their p'.

The second just happened recently, my friends and I went for an event and we're ALL looking like 'peng tins' but one just stole the thunder (if I'm being honest myself). From the moment we stepped into the venue, guys literally lost their cool, one tried to comport himself but he couldn't help stealing sly glances. This had the rest of us laughing cause this was a much younger guy and this friend was older and unavailable. As the night progressed more guys arrived and were all vying for their opportunity to talk to her.

These type of stories are very good for girl talk. I love all my friends and love the fact that each of them is beautiful not just on the outside but on the inside too. But this is just instances of the fact that humans especially guys are very visual operators, we like looking at pretty things we judge books by their appearances. No matter how much we say not to do it we all do it (some of you will be saying you're not like that but please shut up and stop lying). Beauty attracts us but substance keeps us. You go to a gathering and determine who you will approach based on how a person looks. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder so we don't all judge appearances in the same way but it is what draws us in. That is why people make such a big deal about appearances when going somewhere new or for a job interview because no matter how much we try, that is the first thing humans will judge.

That's why we say dress how you want to be addressed. If you look professional, you will be addressed professionally, if you look unkept that is what people will associate you as. But I digress.

If you are a CIGYFNF like me don't worry because if your friends are like mine then you'll have such lovely people that support and love you, and would never hurt you. So when you own man comes they will back off, they will let you shine. If he isn't your guy then they will also keep you away from mistakes. I like to know my friends are such beautiful people, it makes me proud knowing it was actually worth it to have beautiful gems in my life. Because while guys are vying for their attention, I have it 24/7 and one word from me can make or break their perception of you :P

But you know I'm not just a CIGYFNF but I am also a "Can I get your cousin's number" friend but it's all ok because one day God will send my own guy that would want my number.


That's it from me today. I want to say a big THANK YOU to the new people who have been reading my blog. I hope to get new and better things up for you.

Love, Aunty Bunny xxx

P.S. Please tell me about your CIGYFNF stories and what you did!!!

This is a segment of Benny's Diaries.