River Boy

River boy. 

I want to dip into you, 

I gravitate to you,

Something pulls me in. 

A little bit of current events,

I’m swayed 

By your waves. 

Moving in my mind, us,

Side to side,

A dance of love,

Swirling, round

Together, synchronised. 

Sometimes it’s like

I’m floating, suspended, 

Caressed 

By the touch of the river. 

I could drown in you,

Easily. 

Be filled up,

Complete drenched. 

Our love would be interesting,

Fluid like the river in you. 

Strong, stable,

Like the mountains I come from. 

River Boy, too bad I don’t swim. 

Being a Single Nigerian Girl...

...In your 20s with a degree. HOW DARE YOU?

Hello, my Bunnies, I’m backkkkkk.

You! Nigerian Girl! Yes you, how can you come back from university without huzzband? Or boyfriend? Or we’re just friends Ma? A fine girl like you with hometraining galor and wife material kilometres long. It’s like you’re not serious, oya come and be collecting unnecessary side comments. 

Society/ Relatives

Please dear parentals, uncles and aunties, huzzband or boyfriend is not inside a shop or growing on a tree. You said we should read our books and focus on our education so why are you disturbing me about boy now?

Furthermore, since my cousin got married (yey!) and I'm the next oldest granddaughter, I’ve noticed that everyone has been looking at me: 'you're next', 'remaining you'. Please move back, a little backer and free me. If he comes, he comes, don’t stress me, please.  

Moreover, will a man give me a one-way ticket to heaven? 

Abeg leave single people alone, singleness is not a disease. Some of you even say 'eyaaa' when your friend tells you they’re single, are you alright? Eya fire. If I start saying 'pele' to you taken people, you’ll start having heartburn. Live your life, I live my life. 

Dating Scene

The dating scene in Nigeria is giving me a headache. Sha this is the only scene I’ve navigated because this is the only time I’m perceptive to the idea of dating. So I’m finally paying attention to the scene. 

First of all, am I the only one who is mega scared of the type of men she attracts. Like I keep thinking, Lord is this the one that my vibes call to because I am praying and casting against it oh. Old men (married) will be stepping to you or members of sufferheard Olympics and gatekeepers of misogyny association or fat fetish people. I don’t appreciate this. 

Then the guys I’m attracted to are so slow or taken. Obviously, when I come across taken men I’m quick to shut down whatever attraction because I’m not here for that ‘fight for your man’ rubbish. I cannot be fighting because of man, God forbid. I am bad-market for side chick movements. 

The slow guys are annoying and the problem is that so far Nigerian guys have a complex with girls who make the first move; ask them out first. Most of them start to think they are one kingpin. Sir, please be humble. Yes, I’m attracted to you and want to know you more but you’re not the only man on earth, drop your shoulders. 

Knowing the issues I have I don’t like to sit and wait for someone who’s attracted to me to come up to me first. Please oh, they scare me. So when I’m attracted to you, I want to tell you, go on a few dates and get to know you before I start investing in you or thinking of an actual relationship. We’re adults, two people of the opposite sex should be able to hang out and get to know each other before/ without labels. I shouldn’t be scared that I would be called desperate around friendship groups. Not everyone wants to husband you and tie you down, sometimes come and pick me, we go galavanting and you drop me off. Plus I like to know who I am pursuing with a more romantic flavour and who I am keeping platonic, I don't like mixing so I'd like to hang out to see where you best fit in. Of course, if I’m initiating contact you reserve the right to decline, I respect your autonomy and choice. But if you’ll be leading me on and giggling with friends behind my back, honey I’m not the problem and you have some serious growing up to do.

Sha please Nigerian men please don’t waste my phone number I beg you in God’s name. Just kuku leave it if it’s for decoration purposes. God bless you as you comply. 

I think that's it from me today.

Lovely people feel free to comment and share. What has being single been like for you?

Love from BANNK xxx.

Signs and wonders

Hello from your tired Bunny,

In writing this blog I had to consult my Bible to ensure that I have my facts right. This topic is so dear to my heart and I know that if I don't get what's on my mind out then it will consume me inside.

When the Bible talks about signs and wonders, it is associated with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They are the ones who equip us with the ability to perform signs and wonders for the glorification of God. They are the ones who also perform signs and wonders as an expression of who they are. I hope you guys are still with me and understand the point I am trying to establish.

i.e. SIGNS AND WONDERS ARE FOR GOD TO PERFORM BY HIMSELF OR THROUGH US.


Ok with that being established then, please tell me, children of God, why one uncle out of nowhere will be sending me so-called signs as a way to tell me he likes me😒 🙃.
ARE YOU A BILLBOARD?!?

Why can't you open your mouth and talk? Is so hard to just use words and actually communicate effectively? Really telling me that I should have seen the signs. Then you get angry that I did not see the signs 🙄

See I am not the type of person who easily sees signs and understands then. Furthermore, I hate to assume or infer things on somebody else's behalf. Even when I am working for a group, I won't just assume a random responsibility without express allocation of that job to me. Like Nigerians like to say "I will not carry somebody's headache".

That's how I'll be deceiving myself that a guy likes me and he will ask me if he ever said anything to me and then put my heart inside the dustbin...ermmm it a no from me. If as a guy, you like and you haven't said anything to me then that is a personal problem for you.

If we start out as friends or we know each other, I will not assume anything because you treat me nicer than the others, or you have a pet name for me or that you spend more time with me or talking to me. If you are feeling like you have invested yourself and your time (or even money) that again is your personal problem. You can carry whatever investment and start going home with it. Afterall, if you don't have the boldness to tell me how you feel, then I am not interested and you were obviously ready for the investment to go to waste.

I sat down for some years thinking a friend of mine liked me because he called me baby and seemed to make extra efforts when it came to my matter. Only for me to discover that 'Baby' is a community name 🤣. I crashed back to reality so quickly it was like they poured ice water on me. Beware of the 'Baby', 'Darling', 'Babe' guys and especially the ones that always send this emoji '😍 ' anyhow (these are community properties, it is not for you alone).

The worst one, the thing I absolutely hate is the "I used to like you" or "I used to have a crush on you" guys. Okkkkk has that paid my rent, tuition or given me a first class??? No! Then keep quiet. What do want me to do with the information? Should I beg you to like me again? Should I call my whole village to help me beg for your like/ crush back? Like, I am really not understanding. Or maybe I should weep that I missed out on you? (TBH most times I want to cry tears of joy that I dodged a bullet because if you cannot simply communicate the fact that you like me then there will be no communication in the relationship). Please leave me alone if you want to exhibit this kind of silliness.

Guy and girls, if you like somebody and you are serious, please just tell them.  Stop playing games, human beings are not playstations. God has given us the spirit of boldness and not of fear; use it! Or you'll miss out on amazing people that are supposed to be in your life. This boldness should also exist when you're making friends or creating networks. If you never take the first step then you'd always wonder what could have been and that is the worst feeling ever.

I hope we all had a wonderful weekend. I pray you all have a fulfilled week ahead even you 'signs and wonders' people. Don't forget to subscribe and comment. Do you agree with what I've said? Do you have your own 'sign and wonders' experience? Please share, I am here to listen.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

Aunty Bunny Advises

Hello from your "I've had writer's block for over 3 months" Bunny,

I have written this apology over a dozen times and just left it in my draft. I am so sorry for not updating for so long and I hope you guys have not given up on me.

My friend just sent me a topic to talk about and this opens up my new segment of "Aunty Bunny Advises". This means you can drop questions or topics that you want me to talk about in the comments or in my Twitter DMs (@BKanyip). 

Today's topic is 'How do you maintain a relationship with someone who doesn't like people's opinion?'

If there is a motto that I love to live by, it is to not be concerned by the opinions of man but to focus on the word of God and what makes me happy.

However, no man is an island and if I make a friend, I automatically welcome this person into my life and give them my trust. So I would expect that this friend does not turn a blind eye when I am in the wrong or doing something that would end up being detrimental to me. A characteristic of love is kindness, contrary to popular belief this does not mean niceness or blind adoration. Kindness means having your best interest that I have at heart, whether that means supporting you when you've done something good or correcting you when you've done something wrong.

If you are someone that doesn't like the opinions of others then I have to bluntly tell you not to have friends. Because any friend that cannot tell you the truth or is afraid to do so does not have a true friendship with you. Unfortunately, I have some people in my life that I am unable to correct, talk to or even advice and I know I am not really friends with them even though I might introduce them to a stranger as such. How can I watch you make mistakes or make bad decisions and call you my friend? But some people's attitudes make them so unapproachable. I've had ex-friends who I've advised on certain matters only to see them doing the opposite thing the next day. If I have reached the level of keeping shut when it comes to certain decisions that a friend makes then we are no longer friends, we are acquaintances.

With every rule, there is an exception and even the exception has its own exceptions. If I advise a friend but they make me understand why they will not follow the advice then that is understandable, after all, to take an advice is optional and not mandatory. But most often you find that said friends only come to get your advice so they know your stance on the issue then if it is not in line with theirs then they begin to hide that aspect of their lives away from you.  If you have to hide any aspect of your life from the people that love you then there is something fishy and you know it.

Handling a relationship with someone who doesn't value your opinion is not a headache I can manage. Most of the time, it shows that person doesn't value your input. If it was a guy I was dating that behaved like this then I'd break up with him because this inability to listen to what I want or what I have to say would stay in that relationship unless he changes. He will always undermine me, my input on money, principles, family or anything would just be like talking to a wall because he'd go on to do what he wants anyway. That is a stressful life that I don't want to live. If it were a friend like stated above then that would be the end of the friendship or I'd just be existing around the person and unable to have any deep meaningful interaction with them.

P.S. if a friend or S.O. cannot take my advice then I most likely cannot take theirs. When I am unable to trust your ability to stick to your principles then how can I trust you to help me keep mine? Most advice is based on what someone would do if they found themselves in similar situations and if they do the contrary then you'd have me do the same too.

All in all, I'd say you have the choice on what you want to put out there. If you are unable to take advice then don't ask for it (it a different issue if you want a second opinion but make it clear about what you want to do). If you do have a friend that doesn't take advice, understand that it is their life and they are allowed to live it however they want and irrespective of what I have outlined above, we cannot force people to live how we want them to.

I pray this helps someone out there. I don't want to create discord but tell my truth. Feel free to tell me in the comments what you would do in such a situation.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

Babysitting stories

Hello from your (uni-will-not-kill-me-in-Jesus-name) busy Bunny,

EXAMS ARE ON THE WAY!!! But Christ has not given me a spirit of fear and I know through him I will succeed, Amen.😤

So I am in the middle of getting essays done, revising, dealing with stress pimples, not sleeping and still trying to keep a healthy lifestyle 😰

This is the reason why I have not been posting much. Between our last encounter and now:
- I was in a play where I had TWO major roles (yes I was fantastic but majorly stressed)
- I successfully handed over my position as VP of  one of my uni societies
- I have been given a post as a committee member of my youth fellowship
- Successfully hosted an event for my youth fellowship even though I lost my voice from allergies
God has been so good because I wouldn't have been able to do all these and more without him strengthening me (let's not forget uni work that has also been done and is still being done) 🙌. My God is awesome.

Matthew 18:3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

So I wanted to share a little story with you guys. Some weeks ago I was babysitting and was having a conversation with the oldest girl who is about 12 and we got to the subject of dating. We have a little talk and I tell her that she isn't old enough to date yet, she says that she is aware of that and knows that she probably won't be allowed to date until she is my age (I'm 19).

I went with a uni friend of mine BTW. So when the girl I'm baby sitting says this to me, I start laughing. Then I tell her that by the time she's my age she'd probably still won't be dating (because I am still single). So my friend and I start laughing and the girl is confused and thinks we're laughing at her but I then clarify what I mean and tell her that I am laughing at myself.

At that very moment, her little sister (who is 7) comes up to me and asks if I have a boyfriend and I tell her "No I am a single pringle" then my friend and I couldn't help ourselves and just had to laugh our hearts out. When I went over, I didn't go with the idea or plan that my relationship status will be questioned by kids and the whole scenario was so funny. Kids are so unpredictable sometimes but so adorable and innocent.

They had no other motive and were just genuinely curious. However, if I was questioned like that in Nigeria, my guards would immediately go up. I know a few people who are waiting for me to get my degree and get married (funny enough they are not even my parents *eyes rolling*). The usual question when ladies return from uni without a suitor is "So you came back alone?" and my reply would be "Yes, after all, I was born alone😁"

Enjoy your singleness while you can (it is not a curse), grow in your relationship with God and build yourself up. Don't let people force you into a relationship and marriage before you are prepared by God. Everything has its time and season. Because it is your friend's time doesn't mean that it is yours. Because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have to force marriage. Let God's time be your time and not the other way around.

If I do not post again then pray for me and my exams as I will be praying for you all too. Have blessed days. I will see you after my exam when I will be looking like a new person once the exam stress is gone.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

P.S. Feel free to comment and ask me questions on anything. I am always here to listen and to give advice based on the Holy Spirit's direction. God bless you all.

The CIGYFNF

Hello from your Happy Chubby Bunny,

Please share or comment or just raise your hands in your house if you've ever been the "can I get your friend's number" friend (CIGYFNF) whose number is never wanted (please laugh with me I can't do it alone because this is me to a T).

Let me tell you a story, in fact, two stories. The first happened over the summer, I was at an event in my honour and some friends were around (you know how you have two groups of friend who don't know each other) some were guys and the other were girls. Throughout the event, I didn't know the guys had been checking out my girlfriends so when they were able to corner just me, they started asking me for my friends' names, numbers and relationship status. They were four guys and they had each already chosen a girl for themselves. And I was just like "wow!!!" so you come to my event where I am supposed to be the centre of attention and you're checking out my friends (I was even clapping for them). But as the good Christian friend that I am, I introduced them to my friends and allowed the to 'set their p'.

The second just happened recently, my friends and I went for an event and we're ALL looking like 'peng tins' but one just stole the thunder (if I'm being honest myself). From the moment we stepped into the venue, guys literally lost their cool, one tried to comport himself but he couldn't help stealing sly glances. This had the rest of us laughing cause this was a much younger guy and this friend was older and unavailable. As the night progressed more guys arrived and were all vying for their opportunity to talk to her.

These type of stories are very good for girl talk. I love all my friends and love the fact that each of them is beautiful not just on the outside but on the inside too. But this is just instances of the fact that humans especially guys are very visual operators, we like looking at pretty things we judge books by their appearances. No matter how much we say not to do it we all do it (some of you will be saying you're not like that but please shut up and stop lying). Beauty attracts us but substance keeps us. You go to a gathering and determine who you will approach based on how a person looks. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder so we don't all judge appearances in the same way but it is what draws us in. That is why people make such a big deal about appearances when going somewhere new or for a job interview because no matter how much we try, that is the first thing humans will judge.

That's why we say dress how you want to be addressed. If you look professional, you will be addressed professionally, if you look unkept that is what people will associate you as. But I digress.

If you are a CIGYFNF like me don't worry because if your friends are like mine then you'll have such lovely people that support and love you, and would never hurt you. So when you own man comes they will back off, they will let you shine. If he isn't your guy then they will also keep you away from mistakes. I like to know my friends are such beautiful people, it makes me proud knowing it was actually worth it to have beautiful gems in my life. Because while guys are vying for their attention, I have it 24/7 and one word from me can make or break their perception of you :P

But you know I'm not just a CIGYFNF but I am also a "Can I get your cousin's number" friend but it's all ok because one day God will send my own guy that would want my number.


That's it from me today. I want to say a big THANK YOU to the new people who have been reading my blog. I hope to get new and better things up for you.

Love, Aunty Bunny xxx

P.S. Please tell me about your CIGYFNF stories and what you did!!!

This is a segment of Benny's Diaries.

The Future

Hello from your somewhat torn Chubby Bunny,

What if you knew your future? What would you do if you knew what was going to happen tomorrow or a few months from now or even in the next ten years? What will you change?

I know a lot of you will be thinking "well that's a bit far-fetched" "how will I know I even know" "no one knows tomorrow except God".

And well I agree with you but what if the prophecy/ revelation came from God through your dreams and through his servant? Then what will you do?

Would you change your life to fit so PERFECTLY with the path that would lead to that destination God has planned for you?
Or would you hope that everything falls into place as life goes on with you praying that where you are is already part of your path?
Or would you just ignore and live because you know, YOLO!!!

As a Christian, I know and I try (regardless of my humanity) to work wholly based on the spirit so when God gives me a revelation about what is to come, I don't fight it because I know he wants the absolute best for me and would never stare me wrong.

But (forgive me if it seems like I'm questioning God) what if he tells you that you will lose your friends, that they will no longer have such a strong presence in your life and these friends (at least for now) have been there for you, have been a wonderful support system? Then how do you come to terms with that inevitable loss that is bound to happen?

I feel like I have started to mourn for what has not been lost but will be and it doesn't allow for total peace of mind. I cannot be as free as I used to be with said friends and I no longer have anyone to confide in because they now seem so temporary just waiting to fade out of my life.

With all being said I know who my God is and he would never leave me feeling so downcast. He has a plan and I have already surrendered my life to him a long time ago. I prayed for his will to be done and for him to take control of my life and if that means he has to take some people out then so be it.

A prayer is laid in my spirit "Lord, as you reveal more of yourself to me and as you give me more knowledge of what is to come also give me strength and more of your spirit to know that even when these messages seem so scary, so beyond me or my ability. Let me not have any fear for you are with me and you have a plan not just for me but for this world and you will see me through and give me all the resources and destiny helpers that will bring me to my destination. Amen"

Because the thing with life is that there are some people who are with you for a season and some for a reason. Life is in stages, as we meet people who are our helpers at a certain stage they do not remain helpers forever so sometimes they do not come with us to the next stage of life. It is not by any fault of theirs, it has been decreed from the start of your relationship and if we choose to turn away from God's plan then you find yourself moving from what was once a sweet relationship to a toxic one. But I do not pray for that to happen to anyone.

So as for this Bunny when God says it's time to get some people out of my life, although I'd miss them so dearly, I will be saying 'Boy Bye' like Beyonce´ because I am not waiting to see the repercussions of disobedience.

That is another rant for you today. Funny, I started this post feeling downcast but now everything is in perspective.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

This is a segment of Benny's Diaries.