Big Girl Syndrome

Hello from your Happy (Single) Chubby Bunny,

VALENTINE IS COMING!
WHERE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?
YOU ARE SITTING ALONE...LONELY!

I am not dissing anyone but if you know the Instagram sensation, Mr Cocoyam then you'd know this song quite intimately.

Valentine is here, 'tis the season of LOVE!!!

And I am here to discuss an issue that I have dealt with and sometimes still dealing with, the Big Girl Syndrome aka BGS. What is BGS you might be asking? Well (and this is a personal definition) it is when you feel like your weight is what is hindering the guys from stepping up to you and when guys do step to you have the automatic response of thinking that he has a fetish.

All my life, I don't think I have been anything but plus-sized, at least for my age. By the time I was 12, I couldn't shop in the children's section anymore and would shop with my mum from the women's section of stores. As a Nigerian, I am not unaccustomed to my people not minding their business, they feel the need to comment on every aspect of your life from your body to fashion, education and so on. I once had a family friend reply to my greeting with a comment about my weight:

Me: Good evening Ma
Them: Ah my dear you have added weight oh you need to stop eating too much

There was no reply to the greeting, no conversation on how I am doing but an immediate assessment of my weight was in order apparently.

There are a lot of insecurities created for both women and men about what their body should look like, the worst part of the situation is that society never makes up its mind about what it wants (not that it matters); but being skinny is not ok and fat is not ok either. I am advocating that if a person is healthy and happy then society should mind its business.

I have digressed a bit. With BGS you get sad that if you don't lose weight then no man is going to approach you and it doesn't help when the unwanted opinion of the world says the same thing. This instils insecurities in people and pushes them to destroy their body in order to conform. My losing weight or wanting to is based on my need to be healthy (and my doctor's advice) and if a guy told me my weight was the reason why he couldn't like me then he better step through the door because I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.

On the other hand, when you are a sufferer of BGS, you constantly suspect guys who step up to you. Some people have big girl fetishes but personally, the idea of being someone's fetish rubs me the wrong way and makes me uncomfortable. I'd rather have a guy like me for me and not based on the sole fact that I am a Big Girl. My weight fluctuates so would your fondness of me fluctuate with the weight?

Anyhoo that is all I have to say about BGS. I have better self-love now and I know that if someone has a problem with my weight then it's their problem. Whether I am a size 6 or 18, I have a lot more to offer beyond my physicality and if you're not willing to get to know those things then you better move out of my life.

I hope you lovely people have a wonderful Valentine, remember there is more to love than sex and you shouldn't limit your expression of love to one day in the year. Make sure those wonderful people in your life know that you love them every day.

My love to you all.

Aunty Bunny xxx.