Update 2

Hello from your Chubby Bunny,

I have not been feeling too well for some time now so it has been hard coming up with something to blog about this week. Seeing as I promised to be consistent I still wanted to put up something for you guys.

Rest. In all that we do let us not forget to take some time to rest. Do that which calms you down and de-stresses you. For a while, I've neglected the things that calm me and give me joy and this is because I have spent time working and worrying.

I forgot that even God himself rested after creating the world, he told us not to worry about things but to pray and cast those worries unto him. So for the longest time, I felt like I was carrying the world on my shoulders. Being in my final year had me thinking about my future and worrying that I was not doing the right things or living in my purpose. I was so focused on the future that I forgot about the 'now', I was not enjoying time with my friends or myself or enjoying the university experience. I started hiding and avoiding things that made me confront the world.

God had been calling out to me, asking that I see that he is with me and that I do not have to go through this year and life by myself but the voice of worry was so loud. My raging thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy were not allowing me to hear God and I couldn't pray. That made me feel so guilty and I found myself in a vicious circle that made me pull away from God even more.

By the grace of God, things are much better now. We had a Spirit-filled session with my youth fellowship and chains were broken. My friend was praying for me and I broke down (BTW I haven't been able to shed a tear for weeks despite feeling so empty and in need of a good cry). I finally let myself be still and let God's voice through and he gave me the assurance that I will be fine. I have felt such great peace since then.

We tell ourselves so often that God loves us and that he has got us but life can latch itself onto our backs and create doubts. One way to get through this is to surround yourself with the things that reaffirm and reassure you of God's love i.e. God's word, positive people, nature etc. I also made an active effort to go out of my house so I was not isolated, the days I just felt like avoiding my responsibilities and people I would ask (what is the blessing that the devil is trying so hard to take away from me?). If are going through something like this, you are not alone and things will get better. Just speak to God and find a confidant who you can talk to.

Anyhoo, I pray you all have a great weekend. I have a birthday to attend this weekend and I hope that comes with lots of bomb pictures.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

Aunty Bunny Advises: 2

Hello from your Chubby (now going to the gym) Bunny,

So I've been going to the gym for two weeks now and it has been wonderful. Your girl is keeping on top of her health (*clap for me here). The first week was painful but I kept pushing and my body is slowly getting used to doing more activities. If you want to be updated on my gym escapades or my day to day life, again, follow me on Twitter @BKanyip.

Anyhoo, welcome back to the second segment of Aunty Bunny Advises and the question to day is:

'How should I feel about a friend who has chosen a stupid reason to not be friends with me, but you still love them?"

Don't forget you can also drop your questions in the comments or in my Twitter DMs.

Back to the question of the day. How should you feel? Feel however you want. You are allowed to have emotions but do not let them control you. Emotions are such fickle things so you only want to be informed by them. It is ok to be hurt, angry or even offended (I get offended when people use silly reasons, not to friends with me because I am such an amazing friend but I also pity them because they are missing out on my amazingness). But that is their loss. 

I have three doctrines that are the foundation of my friendships:

1. God is the number one foundation of anything I do
2. I choose my friends 
3. I can't force people to be my friends

As I have mentioned in a previous post, some friendships are seasonal and will eventually run their course so when you find them ending, don't force the relationship. If you do then you are mixing up a batch of toxic disaster waiting to explode. It is better to end a relationship amicably than to have a massive fall out that leaves no room for recovery. 

If you are the type that looks for closure, feel free to ask (not confront, do not approach with any hostility) what exactly you did or what was so unforgivable that the person stopped being friends with you. I am not a closure person so I would let the other person do what ever they wanted, after all, they are grown and have the capacity to make their own decisions. If the friendship was meant to be then we will find each other again. That is why I said not to have a fall out because if you are meant to reconnect you wouldn't want any resentment between you guys.

You can still love someone from afar. Even if they are not present you can pray for them and wish them well. Distance means nothing to love. 

As for you, focus on other things in your life. Your work, education, family, other friends etc. The fact that this one friend has made a bad decision of leaving you should not stop you from enjoying the things that are still in your life.

I pray this helps someone out there. I don't want to create discord but tell my truth. Feel free to tell me in the comments what you would do in such a situation.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

A Tribute to Kika

Hello, guys, it's Benny,

Happy Easter to you all.

This week I lost a dear friend of mine and I am in so much pain. I can't believe it, I don't want to believe it but I can't run from reality. However, I am comforted by the knowledge that Kika knew God and gave her life to Christ, there is peace knowing that she is with God among the heavenly host singing God's praises.

I always called her Kikamma, no matter how many times she said that wasn't her correct name (mma in Igbo means good and Kika wasn't just good but was so godly as the true woman of God that she was). Two conversations with her standout in my memory now, Kika was so filled with the Holy Spirit and when she spoke of God, you could she the wisdom God had given her, and the genuine love she has for God.

The first conversation was just after we did our farewell video for those graduating in our youth fellowship. We sat in my room with another friend and I remember saying to her "Kika, I have to pick your brain oh. There is gist and it is time to spill. This time next year, by God's grace, me too I want to go for valentine dinner so give us your tips". We went on to talk about how she met her boyfriend, how they both made sure that the relationship was God-centered and Holy Spirit led. She told us how she took everything about the relationship to God first, how they are making sure that there is no temptation and how they are helping each other grow in their love of God. After this conversation, I remember telling some of my other friends how I admire their relationship and how I am proud of their growth together and individually.

The second conversation is the one that comes with a little bit of guilt from my part. This conversation happened after games night in our youth fellowship, when we were walking back home I noticed she seemed uncomfortable. I asked if she was ok, she said she'd been having pain, I asked if she had seen the doctor and taken something, and she said yes. I wished I had inquired further and not let the conversation go because I know the pain of appendicitis and can tell the general symptoms but I know now that God had a plan to call his daughter home so I find my peace there. That day when we spoke, Kika was telling me about discipleship and what it means to be a disciple. She complained to me a little about the stress that comes with being a leader, not just any leader but a leader in God's house and of God's people. Even though she was in pain, she took the time to talk to me outside in the cold and I could just see the joy and passion she had in serving God and it is still inspiring.

I write this in hopes that I immortalise my memories of Kika and tell you all about God's wonderful daughter that I had the honour of meeting, knowing, calling her a friend and a sister. I thank God for her life, the people she touched including myself and I thank God for using her. Kika was one of those people I call God's creatives, she was so talented: Kika was a chef, wrote spoken word, was a daughter, friend, sister and mentor. Kika was also a wonderful hypeman and supporter of others. In each of her callings, she ALWAYS glorified God and you could see that. Kika like us all had dreams to change this world for the better, she was selfless and such a beautiful soul.

Writing this is not easy and mourning her is not something I want to do but I know she is not dead. No, she has been reborn. Seeing as Kika was a poet, this is dedicated to her:

John Donne, Holy Sonnet

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so;
For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul’s delivery.
Thou’art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy’or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell’st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

Right now my love and prayers go out to her family and friends. Matthew 5:4 "Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them!". I pray for God to be our comfort in this period.

To Kika, you are loved and now you are with the source of love:

Sai wata rana abokina. 

Adieu, Kiks.

Goodnight, till we meet again to part no more Kikamma.

Babysitting stories

Hello from your (uni-will-not-kill-me-in-Jesus-name) busy Bunny,

EXAMS ARE ON THE WAY!!! But Christ has not given me a spirit of fear and I know through him I will succeed, Amen.😤

So I am in the middle of getting essays done, revising, dealing with stress pimples, not sleeping and still trying to keep a healthy lifestyle 😰

This is the reason why I have not been posting much. Between our last encounter and now:
- I was in a play where I had TWO major roles (yes I was fantastic but majorly stressed)
- I successfully handed over my position as VP of  one of my uni societies
- I have been given a post as a committee member of my youth fellowship
- Successfully hosted an event for my youth fellowship even though I lost my voice from allergies
God has been so good because I wouldn't have been able to do all these and more without him strengthening me (let's not forget uni work that has also been done and is still being done) 🙌. My God is awesome.

Matthew 18:3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

So I wanted to share a little story with you guys. Some weeks ago I was babysitting and was having a conversation with the oldest girl who is about 12 and we got to the subject of dating. We have a little talk and I tell her that she isn't old enough to date yet, she says that she is aware of that and knows that she probably won't be allowed to date until she is my age (I'm 19).

I went with a uni friend of mine BTW. So when the girl I'm baby sitting says this to me, I start laughing. Then I tell her that by the time she's my age she'd probably still won't be dating (because I am still single). So my friend and I start laughing and the girl is confused and thinks we're laughing at her but I then clarify what I mean and tell her that I am laughing at myself.

At that very moment, her little sister (who is 7) comes up to me and asks if I have a boyfriend and I tell her "No I am a single pringle" then my friend and I couldn't help ourselves and just had to laugh our hearts out. When I went over, I didn't go with the idea or plan that my relationship status will be questioned by kids and the whole scenario was so funny. Kids are so unpredictable sometimes but so adorable and innocent.

They had no other motive and were just genuinely curious. However, if I was questioned like that in Nigeria, my guards would immediately go up. I know a few people who are waiting for me to get my degree and get married (funny enough they are not even my parents *eyes rolling*). The usual question when ladies return from uni without a suitor is "So you came back alone?" and my reply would be "Yes, after all, I was born alone😁"

Enjoy your singleness while you can (it is not a curse), grow in your relationship with God and build yourself up. Don't let people force you into a relationship and marriage before you are prepared by God. Everything has its time and season. Because it is your friend's time doesn't mean that it is yours. Because you are in a relationship doesn't mean you have to force marriage. Let God's time be your time and not the other way around.

If I do not post again then pray for me and my exams as I will be praying for you all too. Have blessed days. I will see you after my exam when I will be looking like a new person once the exam stress is gone.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

P.S. Feel free to comment and ask me questions on anything. I am always here to listen and to give advice based on the Holy Spirit's direction. God bless you all.

First Post of 2017!!!

Hello from your very sorry Chubby Bunny,

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND NEW AGE GUYS!!!

I know you have almost given up on me but please forgive me. I got bombarded with school work and my brain has been quite one-tracked with that but I don't stop thinking of you (I hope that counts for something with you guys).

So we all know aside from being a commentator on current events, this blog is a little diary of sorts so let me update you guys.

1. We made it into 2017, all glory to God for keeping us.

2. I am a year plus (just celebrated my birthday) and it is a signifier of new beginings for me in more ways that one.

3. I launched a new platform on instagram @Rocks_of_Jordan please check it out. It is focused on promoting body positivity through God's eyes, allowing us to love ourselves and others beyond physicality. This was the announcement I was talking about from my last post. Place check it out it is a wonderful mandate from God and there are big blessings associated with the platform.

I have been praying to God (like I told you last time) about this blog. I want the things I put on here to be meaningful, helpful and enlightening. I want to remove the superficiality that conventional blogs have. My blog has to show the God/ Christ element shining through my life and posts.

This particular post came to me while I was making indomie 😂 and watching Sleepy Hallow (judge me at your discretion). So anywho, one of the characters was trying to deter someone from loving her, she was doing the conventional thing of pointing all her flaws and shortcomings (like we don't all have ours) and trying to really convince this guy, typical Hollywood (we all know they'll get together eventually)🙄. Now I find it very funny when you're watching the movie and the person is really trying (with so much effort) to convince the other about how unlovable they are. 

Once upon a time that was me. I could probably sit down and tell you how broken I was and how scarred I was too but God said I have loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). Even before we loved ourselves he loved us. When we were in the world he still loved us. To say loved means that there is a past element and to also call his love everlating means that it is also a continuous love that will have no end and no condition.

One amazing thing about finding your identity in Christ is that you begin to realise how valued and treasured you are. He found you worthy enough to die for so there is no argument about your worth anymore.  Romans 6:6 "And we know that our old being has been put to death with Christ on his cross, in order that the power of the sinful self might be destroyed, so that we should no longer be the slaves of sin." Because of this love and the sacrifice of Christ, we are really set apart and no longer operating as our old selves for we are made new.  2 Corinthians 5:17 "Anyone who is joined to Christ is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come."

So now when people claim to love me there is a standard tthat has been set oh. And I'm not looking for counterfeit or false love but the kind of love that is informed by Chris's love. 

Please do share and comment guys. This might bless someone out there.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx

The Future

Hello from your somewhat torn Chubby Bunny,

What if you knew your future? What would you do if you knew what was going to happen tomorrow or a few months from now or even in the next ten years? What will you change?

I know a lot of you will be thinking "well that's a bit far-fetched" "how will I know I even know" "no one knows tomorrow except God".

And well I agree with you but what if the prophecy/ revelation came from God through your dreams and through his servant? Then what will you do?

Would you change your life to fit so PERFECTLY with the path that would lead to that destination God has planned for you?
Or would you hope that everything falls into place as life goes on with you praying that where you are is already part of your path?
Or would you just ignore and live because you know, YOLO!!!

As a Christian, I know and I try (regardless of my humanity) to work wholly based on the spirit so when God gives me a revelation about what is to come, I don't fight it because I know he wants the absolute best for me and would never stare me wrong.

But (forgive me if it seems like I'm questioning God) what if he tells you that you will lose your friends, that they will no longer have such a strong presence in your life and these friends (at least for now) have been there for you, have been a wonderful support system? Then how do you come to terms with that inevitable loss that is bound to happen?

I feel like I have started to mourn for what has not been lost but will be and it doesn't allow for total peace of mind. I cannot be as free as I used to be with said friends and I no longer have anyone to confide in because they now seem so temporary just waiting to fade out of my life.

With all being said I know who my God is and he would never leave me feeling so downcast. He has a plan and I have already surrendered my life to him a long time ago. I prayed for his will to be done and for him to take control of my life and if that means he has to take some people out then so be it.

A prayer is laid in my spirit "Lord, as you reveal more of yourself to me and as you give me more knowledge of what is to come also give me strength and more of your spirit to know that even when these messages seem so scary, so beyond me or my ability. Let me not have any fear for you are with me and you have a plan not just for me but for this world and you will see me through and give me all the resources and destiny helpers that will bring me to my destination. Amen"

Because the thing with life is that there are some people who are with you for a season and some for a reason. Life is in stages, as we meet people who are our helpers at a certain stage they do not remain helpers forever so sometimes they do not come with us to the next stage of life. It is not by any fault of theirs, it has been decreed from the start of your relationship and if we choose to turn away from God's plan then you find yourself moving from what was once a sweet relationship to a toxic one. But I do not pray for that to happen to anyone.

So as for this Bunny when God says it's time to get some people out of my life, although I'd miss them so dearly, I will be saying 'Boy Bye' like Beyonce´ because I am not waiting to see the repercussions of disobedience.

That is another rant for you today. Funny, I started this post feeling downcast but now everything is in perspective.

Love Aunty Bunny xxx.

This is a segment of Benny's Diaries.