I have written this apology over a dozen times and just left it in my draft. I am so sorry for not updating for so long and I hope you guys have not given up on me.
My friend just sent me a topic to talk about and this opens up my new segment of "Aunty Bunny Advises". This means you can drop questions or topics that you want me to talk about in the comments or in my Twitter DMs (@BKanyip).
Today's topic is 'How do you maintain a relationship with someone who doesn't like people's opinion?'
If there is a motto that I love to live by, it is to not be concerned by the opinions of man but to focus on the word of God and what makes me happy.
However, no man is an island and if I make a friend, I automatically welcome this person into my life and give them my trust. So I would expect that this friend does not turn a blind eye when I am in the wrong or doing something that would end up being detrimental to me. A characteristic of love is kindness, contrary to popular belief this does not mean niceness or blind adoration. Kindness means having your best interest that I have at heart, whether that means supporting you when you've done something good or correcting you when you've done something wrong.
If you are someone that doesn't like the opinions of others then I have to bluntly tell you not to have friends. Because any friend that cannot tell you the truth or is afraid to do so does not have a true friendship with you. Unfortunately, I have some people in my life that I am unable to correct, talk to or even advice and I know I am not really friends with them even though I might introduce them to a stranger as such. How can I watch you make mistakes or make bad decisions and call you my friend? But some people's attitudes make them so unapproachable. I've had ex-friends who I've advised on certain matters only to see them doing the opposite thing the next day. If I have reached the level of keeping shut when it comes to certain decisions that a friend makes then we are no longer friends, we are acquaintances.
With every rule, there is an exception and even the exception has its own exceptions. If I advise a friend but they make me understand why they will not follow the advice then that is understandable, after all, to take an advice is optional and not mandatory. But most often you find that said friends only come to get your advice so they know your stance on the issue then if it is not in line with theirs then they begin to hide that aspect of their lives away from you. If you have to hide any aspect of your life from the people that love you then there is something fishy and you know it.
Handling a relationship with someone who doesn't value your opinion is not a headache I can manage. Most of the time, it shows that person doesn't value your input. If it was a guy I was dating that behaved like this then I'd break up with him because this inability to listen to what I want or what I have to say would stay in that relationship unless he changes. He will always undermine me, my input on money, principles, family or anything would just be like talking to a wall because he'd go on to do what he wants anyway. That is a stressful life that I don't want to live. If it were a friend like stated above then that would be the end of the friendship or I'd just be existing around the person and unable to have any deep meaningful interaction with them.
P.S. if a friend or S.O. cannot take my advice then I most likely cannot take theirs. When I am unable to trust your ability to stick to your principles then how can I trust you to help me keep mine? Most advice is based on what someone would do if they found themselves in similar situations and if they do the contrary then you'd have me do the same too.
All in all, I'd say you have the choice on what you want to put out there. If you are unable to take advice then don't ask for it (it a different issue if you want a second opinion but make it clear about what you want to do). If you do have a friend that doesn't take advice, understand that it is their life and they are allowed to live it however they want and irrespective of what I have outlined above, we cannot force people to live how we want them to.
I pray this helps someone out there. I don't want to create discord but tell my truth. Feel free to tell me in the comments what you would do in such a situation.
Love Aunty Bunny xxx.
