Being a Single Nigerian Girl...

...In your 20s with a degree. HOW DARE YOU?

Hello, my Bunnies, I’m backkkkkk.

You! Nigerian Girl! Yes you, how can you come back from university without huzzband? Or boyfriend? Or we’re just friends Ma? A fine girl like you with hometraining galor and wife material kilometres long. It’s like you’re not serious, oya come and be collecting unnecessary side comments. 

Society/ Relatives

Please dear parentals, uncles and aunties, huzzband or boyfriend is not inside a shop or growing on a tree. You said we should read our books and focus on our education so why are you disturbing me about boy now?

Furthermore, since my cousin got married (yey!) and I'm the next oldest granddaughter, I’ve noticed that everyone has been looking at me: 'you're next', 'remaining you'. Please move back, a little backer and free me. If he comes, he comes, don’t stress me, please.  

Moreover, will a man give me a one-way ticket to heaven? 

Abeg leave single people alone, singleness is not a disease. Some of you even say 'eyaaa' when your friend tells you they’re single, are you alright? Eya fire. If I start saying 'pele' to you taken people, you’ll start having heartburn. Live your life, I live my life. 

Dating Scene

The dating scene in Nigeria is giving me a headache. Sha this is the only scene I’ve navigated because this is the only time I’m perceptive to the idea of dating. So I’m finally paying attention to the scene. 

First of all, am I the only one who is mega scared of the type of men she attracts. Like I keep thinking, Lord is this the one that my vibes call to because I am praying and casting against it oh. Old men (married) will be stepping to you or members of sufferheard Olympics and gatekeepers of misogyny association or fat fetish people. I don’t appreciate this. 

Then the guys I’m attracted to are so slow or taken. Obviously, when I come across taken men I’m quick to shut down whatever attraction because I’m not here for that ‘fight for your man’ rubbish. I cannot be fighting because of man, God forbid. I am bad-market for side chick movements. 

The slow guys are annoying and the problem is that so far Nigerian guys have a complex with girls who make the first move; ask them out first. Most of them start to think they are one kingpin. Sir, please be humble. Yes, I’m attracted to you and want to know you more but you’re not the only man on earth, drop your shoulders. 

Knowing the issues I have I don’t like to sit and wait for someone who’s attracted to me to come up to me first. Please oh, they scare me. So when I’m attracted to you, I want to tell you, go on a few dates and get to know you before I start investing in you or thinking of an actual relationship. We’re adults, two people of the opposite sex should be able to hang out and get to know each other before/ without labels. I shouldn’t be scared that I would be called desperate around friendship groups. Not everyone wants to husband you and tie you down, sometimes come and pick me, we go galavanting and you drop me off. Plus I like to know who I am pursuing with a more romantic flavour and who I am keeping platonic, I don't like mixing so I'd like to hang out to see where you best fit in. Of course, if I’m initiating contact you reserve the right to decline, I respect your autonomy and choice. But if you’ll be leading me on and giggling with friends behind my back, honey I’m not the problem and you have some serious growing up to do.

Sha please Nigerian men please don’t waste my phone number I beg you in God’s name. Just kuku leave it if it’s for decoration purposes. God bless you as you comply. 

I think that's it from me today.

Lovely people feel free to comment and share. What has being single been like for you?

Love from BANNK xxx.