Update on my life.

Hello, Bunnies,

I am back like the boys (if you don't get this you're too young and please cherish your youth). Obviously as is my usual behaviour, I was supposed to update before now but after becoming recently unemployed (it's a good thing don't worry), I didn't realise how tired I was and I somehow needed to get two years worth of stress off my shoulders. So I have been sleeping and chilling my life away.

Apparently, when I gave my review of 2019, 2020 was snapping her fingers like a wicked Nollywood stepmother waiting to destroy your destiny. What a year it has been, am I right? Since finishing university,  have just been hoping into journeys for milestones with zero breaks. I recently had to document what I have done for the past two years and guys, in a nutshell, I have not been resting but now that I have a small break before I shackle myself to another journey, I am making the most of it. I am indulging my Id to the fullest because this life na one.

I spent most of the year undergoing the mandatory service year in Nigeria, it involved me working in an assigned office which is usually in your field of study so I have been a practising Barrister and Solicitor this past year. Dearly beloved, I have seen things, learnt things too but I have seen and been through things. Thank God that is a stage of my life that I am done with because like everything Nigeria, when you have to interact with her systems, institutions and, to a large extent, people you lose your sanity. You either lose it quickly and step into the shoes of the average Nigerian or it is a slow and antagonising process where you see yourself losing parts of yourself and forcefully have to hold on or reclaim them. I was the latter and I have lost parts of my sanity and I am still looking for them.

So I have successfully lost my hair, clear skin and my sanity.

One of the fascinating things I started this year was K-Dramas and guys, I fell hard into the Korean Entertainment universe because I am also being pulled by K-Pop. It literally started with me being curious in Netflix search area, I already watch Indian, Turkish, Pakistani movies and series but even those don't have such a stronghold on me like K-dramas. Even my Instagram algorithm has changed and is giving me more fancams and Korean stars on my explore page (tbh on a bad day they uplift me so much, the obsession is deep) and my twitter is a semi-stan account.

Started K-Dramas on the 28th of April, 2020 and these are the shows I have watched so far (actually completed series as I have started some and haven't finished them) 

1. Marriage Contract
2. Cinderella and the Four Knights
3. My Secret Romance
4. My contracted husband Mr Oh
5. Oh my Venus*
6. You are My Destiny
7. What's Wrong with Secretary Kim
8. Because this is My First Life*
9. Crash Landing on You
10. Oh My Ghost
11. Itaewon Class
12. Birth of a Beauty
13. Cheese in the Trap
14. My Holo Love
15. Lucky Romance
16. One More Happy Ending
17. Guardian: The Lonely and Great God
18. Love Alarm
19. Strong Girl Bong-Soon
20. Wok of Love
21. My ID is Gangnam Beauty
22. Love and Marriage
23. Her Private Life
24. Hyde, Jekyll, Me
25. The Bride of Habaek
26. Hotel del Luna
27. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo
28. My Secret Terrius

*Dramas I have watched twice.

Feel free to comment on new shows or which of the above dramas you really loved. Anyhoo, that most of my update for you guys, I am honestly trying to update more and be more consistent but looking at my new obsessions they might become very K-drama centred but that not a problem because a new goal is to break into the Korean market 😌. 

(I have no new images to add to the post so I included an avi creation I did of my ideal look and here is the link to create yours if you want to https://picrew.me/image_maker/380116).

Love,
BANNK xxx.

MOURNING...

Have you ever mourned, the loss,

Of self? 

I walk down my memories. 

Seeing what was once a familiar person,

I try to match the eyes, skin, expressions.  

Back in reality, the mirror,

I’m met with sad, dim eyes. 

Cracked,

Where there were once sparks. 

Skin, dull, rough. 

You can see exhaustion. 

Constantly. 

Smiles that seem forced,

A laugh with no heart or soul,

An act of being ok. 

I can tell. 

My past self feels outside of current me. 

An existence of long ago. 

How did she hold onto

Peace, hope, joy and laughter?

I’ve forgotten. 

Doesn’t seem like I ever have...held on. 

It’s hard to make efforts now. 

This self feels like a shell,

Hallow and empty 

But heavily weighted.  

Breaking my back, lowering my head. 

My heart is heavy,

Yearning,

Questioning what went wrong, 

When her other self passed. 

Did she pass?

Is she lost?

Can we be back?

I try to reach for her. 

She’s a great distance away. 

I want to close the gaps

But at every turn, the path back changes.  

I find no joy in doing the things she did. 

I try, I fail. 

That’s our bridge. 

It’s fading. Losing our connection. 

Yes, I am mourning, the loss of myself.