Hello, Bunnies,
Let's talk about Rejection!
Something that is going to happen if you decide to shoot your shot at life. Is it painful? Yes? Can you avoid it? Yes. But in doing so you miss out on the possible shots that would lead to life-altering outcomes.
You’re gonna get rejected in some form and to some degree in life. A fact. It could be by a romantic interest, a school, a job or even family. You could be rejected in totality or partially (eg. when people say not now to a request of yours). Let’s be honest even God has ‘rejected’ some of the requests you’ve made of him because it’s wasn’t for you or it wasn’t the time to grant said request.
We have to normalise rejection. We need to stop looking at it as if the person loses value solely by virtue of rejection. Rejection should teach you. Not make you afraid to experience the world.
What I have learnt from my rejections:
- I need to build up a new skillset
- I need to keep learning and developing on what I already have
- My skills are not suited here so look elsewhere
- I need to be patient
- Just keep pushing until something hits
- I am still Benny ‘mother flipping’ Kanyip
I’m trying to keep the lens of positivity, even in the midst of rejection, very active. It’s so easy to feel less than or lacking. Because when you’re rejected all you hear is I don’t want you and that’s a hard pill to swallow.
My rejection story
In a nutshell, a shot my shot and the shot didn't shot and I didn't die. (🤣)
To be honest, I did develop a nice friendship with my shotee and he was really helpful in school.
[Dear shotee is you're reading this, HI!]
________________________________________________________________________________
On the flip side, we need to balance out the belief that someone has lost you means they now have some form of lack in their life. Honey that’s a lie. A coping mechanism. Someone can reject you and go on to get someone/ something valuable too. I know we say this to help swallow the bitter pill but an additional bitter pill is that not everyone’s world comes crashing down because you’re not in it.
Please, the fact that you’ve been rejected doesn’t justify you acting out. You can’t go bad-mouthing or hurting the person that rejected you. The solution/ reaction to rejection is moving the flip on. People reserve the right to choose who they want in their life and that choice should be respected.
Romantically, if you’re rejected because the other party doesn’t find you rich enough or pretty enough or whatever enough then move on and find someone who thinks you’re enough. Let the other party find their own enough too. You never want to be with someone who thinks you’re not enough so don’t think this is the opportunity to wear them down or show them up, just leave them alone. Some people will reject you because they are not in a place for a relationship, whatever reason you're given (lies or truth) just keep living your life. Remember someone could flat out not want you and that is ok (for them and for you)
Career-wise, do find out why you were rejected because it presents an opportunity for self-development, which is never a bad idea. If you are being rejected for a discriminatory reason do take the appropriate actions because another person like you should not have to suffer bigotry.
Rejection is ok, rejection is an inevitable part of living.
Obviously, I didn't delve too deeply into it on my rejection story but you know the main gist. What are your rejection tales?
I pray you're able to take rejection in stride and keep shooting all necessary shots.
Love BANNK xxx.
