Hello, Bunnies,
First, I refuse to be judged, condemned and disparaged about my absence. You guys honestly have to just take it like that. You know I have mad love for you but in this season of changes, pandemics and even personal health crisis, we have to extend a greater length of grace and manage each other.
However, I have a hot one for you and as a benevolent content creator, I cannot let this pass you by. As you can see from the title, I have come with tips and the formula on how to tension the world with your (real/ perceived) relationship without outrightly stating that you are in a relationship. I want you all to know that this information I am about to impart is from due observation and research, it comes from a great place of knowledge.
Now on to the tips:
Step 1: Find a man, if possible he can be your actual significant other but you can always employ an archetype.
Step 2: ideally you need Twitter for this but stories also work, you need to tweet the following over a duration of 2-6 months depending on your preference:
- "This man (add one of these emojis for spice 🥺😒🙄😏). This tweet can be used multiple times.
- Close to Christmas or a birthday or valentines you need to hit them with "Shopping for men is so difficult" or if your real or perceived man is on the e choke side the tweet is "What do you get a man who has everything?".
- Finally for the Christian Twitter don't forget "I love how intentional this man is about me"
*WARNING: Be careful not to include names in your tweeting in case 'this man' is more than one. Don't look for me if things cast.
Step 3: Now we need sweet shots of you, at the beach, at a restaurant or just in your house. These shots cannot be a selfie, it must be obvious that someone else took the pictures (so we must see both your hands by your side). When you post these pictures no need to say too much in the captions, this is the exact thing you must put:
"❤️❤️❤️ (or any emoji with hearts on it)
📸: Boo/ Baby (this the most important part, feel free to use whatever nauseating nicknames you have)"
Step 4: The shoe picture (if you want to cause more problems ensure it's just one foot of his in the picture with yours). At this stage make sure you've made your choice on the main man because if the others don't have the same shoe in their wardrobe, it's a problem oh.
Step 5: The hands picture with matching watches or his watch should show obvious wealth (make sure he's holding your manicured ring-filled hands so intensely that his veins are popping, all your friends must call you that day)
Step 6: The silhouette picture. This is when you're sure that you've secured this man and he's on his way to proposing (check by asking your friends if they've been asked about the kind of engagement ring you like).
Step 7: The engagement ring. Hopefully, boo has gone on his knees and you've said yes. Two choices: the hands picture taken from his side showing him holding your newly bejewelled hand or a picture of you hugging him taken from his back showing said bejewelled hand (it is key that boo's face is not yet revealed after all enemies are abound).
Step 8: The pre-wedding photos. TY Bello should be the one to take these oh but you can choose to go with someone else. This is when we will see boo's face for the first time.
Step 9: Introduction/ Traditional wedding picture.
Step 10: Wedding pictures.
Now it is key that you and your man (or woman) don't follow each other on social media or if you have to make sure it's not your main accounts. Better still the account should not be one that is filled with his face and government name, sho get? Make it hard for enemies to track you and your significant other.
Now that I have done God's work, I hope you people will stop shouting at me to post! For those who use my tips and tricks and succeed, I AM THE CHAIRLADY of the occasion and I expect my invitation without delay.
Have a lovely relationship and tension the world my dears.
Love,
BANNK xxx.
