Hello from your peeved Bunny,
Disclaimer: I am about to call out some people, if you have no guilt then you should not have a problem with this post but if you do have a problem then you are guilty and there is no argument about that. I will be making generalisations of family and friends, of course, there are some family and friends that have been so wonderfully supportive and this post is not about you (but do read it as this would be entertaining for you).
P.s. I am taking off all armour of niceness because I am very unhappy at certain behaviours.
I like to consider myself as a very supportive friend and family member, in whatever little way I can (and sometimes it is quite little), I like to lend a helping hand through giving up my time to help, retweeting where I can, helping with adverts, watching or reading posts, buying merchandise, advertising and being a big fan. Even when I feel a product/service is not up to standard I'd tell you and give solutions rather than complain or blackball you. These are little things I like to do to show my love and to help.
Unfortunately, with certain people, I find that this is not reciprocated. I almost have to beg for support (with strangers I don't mind and it is expected as that is a way of selling my product to them), but with family and friends, I don't think I should have to break my back. My really supportive friends are the ones who ask me when my next post is coming, read it, they share with their other friends and encourage me with both positive and constructive advice. However, some people that I call family don't even read my posts talkless of sharing it (I know this because I check my stats). What pisses me off is that you then expect me to be the first in line to support you. Well NO!
I read an article that says you shouldn't always expect friends to support you but I obviously don't agree. Support is not always positive sometimes it is giving CONSTRUCTIVE criticism if you have a problem with their service or product. If that is not the case then what is your excuse? Obviously, my love will not be conditioned on the fact that you have to support me but obviously, your love for me is not true enough to support or encourage my endeavours. It is such an unfortunate reality that people find it hard to get support from their own home which is why they have to look outside for support. This attitude did not start today it has existed since Biblical times. I don't know if over-familiarity has wired people to not support their own but it is disgusting because when these people make it, you so-called family and friends would be the first to proclaim that you know them.
Well if you don't support my beginnings don't expect to enjoy my winnings.
I think that is enough ranting for today. To my wonderful CONSISTENT supporters, I love you guys so much. As you celebrate me God will always celebrate you and when it is time to gbedu, we will gbedu unto the Lord.
Have a great day everyone. Guilty parties please change your ways.
Love Aunty Bunny xxx.
In my opinion, support can be so easy but we forget how much these things(the blogs/art/whatever) mean to the one creating them because a lot of us only see the end product. For example, i have a friend who makes music and i never knew how much effort he put into it because i would see it as just putting beats together... but i went to a workshop where they talked about how people(okay they said the African government and people) do not support their own "creatives" and i realised how i was part of the problem. I listened to his mixtape a few days later and sent him feedback and he was honestly so happy. I still do not know how much effort he put in, but he reacted the way i react when someone gives me feedback on something i have written/performed or just anything that means something to me. I agree with you when you say we should support our friends and a BIG YES to constructive criticism but sometimes knowing that a friend doesn't take criticism well can stop you especially if you are a "people pleaser" - people pleasing mentality needs to go (talking to myself as well.) We really shouldn't have to ask for support but ask and you shall receive. I think it can be something like "Hey guys, check out my new post and give me any feedback you can." Some people just don't know and i hope it isn't selective ignorance but i appreciated this post. But if friends who didn't support me in the beginning start supporting me later i'll just try to be alright with it. they won't receive special treatment though, just the usual gratitude for finally realising that "eh, my friend is actually good at this" But we also have to remember that people are sooo busy doing their own thing, living is a full-time job so our patience is also key. I've always loved the fact that people have different realities; like as I get disappointed because a friend hasn't supported me in something, that same friend might be going through hell and not wanting to share a burden so they just disappear. It is sad but possible.I have made this so complicated you know! but that is what i do, *exhales* and as we call for support we should support willingly and as much as we can. We might be taken for granted but there are greater things ahead. Keep persevering Benny! I'll try to read more of your work! This really has made me think about things and the extent to which i am supporting/not supporting my friends. I hope i can change for the better. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Dennis. There is just an outpour of wisdom here. Sometimes when I write it is difficult to not be a bit one sided but I do have to check myself too. I know life is a full time job and I like to be considerate but when a ridiculously amount of 'friends' don't show any support it gets to me. Especially when they bombard you with their stuff and you're like "Didn't I just send you my stuff?" But it's all good now, I now have better discernment about these things. However, I won't stop ranting when necessary because I need content for the blog. Thank you for your support and do enjoy this blog and my Tafisu story.
DeleteKeep ranting!!!! it is necessary, I get you though. I had to check myself and support my friends more. You never know how your rant can open up someone else's eyes :D
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